Fragments of Dissociation
What exactly is dissociation?
Detachment from one’s own mind, one’s own reality, can be severe enough to quality as dissociation. According to Phsychologydictionary.com, dissociation “provides us with poor excuses and distorted reasons designed to soften the conflict and justify our actions.” Detaching in such a way stems from trauma and stress.
I’m a Survivor of Childhood Trauma.
In my own experience, several of the following have pertained to me. Dissociation’s more severe level, pathological dissociation, include:
· A sense that one’s surroundings are not real
· Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
· Forgetting one’s own personality
· Adapting new personalities based on surroundings
· Different consciousness based on adapted personality and true self
· Memory loss – especially pertaining to adapted personalities
Darius Cikanavicius explains these in detail on psychcentral.com. He elaborates on childhood trauma especially, describing how children cannot resolve issues by themselves and can detach from their current environment. He writes, “Since dissociation is often an aftereffect of trauma, it can routinely reoccur until the emotions related to the trauma are resolved.” (Cikanavicius, 2019)
Dissociation can be treated by therapy and medication. During my own time in therapy, I felt my true self becoming more grounded to reality. Before I began my sessions, I experienced intense daydreaming where reality was barely visible, and I assumed identities not true to my morals and values.
During an extremely low time, I tried to commit suicide. I was brought to the hospital right away. This is where I learned of Section 12*, where I stayed in a psych ward for three days, and where I heard the word dissociation for the first time. My own life had a lot of tragedy, which caused my mind to separate from reality. I remember having a whole imaginary world to retreat to anytime I was scared. Unfortunately for me, my mind remained there far too often.
After much time with a therapist, dissociation isn’t so scary anymore. There are a lot of resources on the topic and ways to stay grounded.
*In Massachusetts, Section 12 is a law stating an individual with psychological issues may be kept for further assessment. The individual may be kept for three or more business days or until released by a psychiatrist.
Citations:
How Childhood Trauma Teaches Us to Dissociate. (2019, February 25). Psych Central.com. https://blogs.psychcentral.com/psychology-self/2019/02/trauma-dissociation/#.XmwLy6dMxWM.link
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